Saturday, August 20, 2011

Where my heart lies

I’m not sure if it was because I was tired, or as a result of the placement at MCYS – somehow, I felt like the appeal of direct casework didn’t overwhelm me as it usually could. Then again, it could also be because this was the introductory lecture.

But when Dr Lee started talking about the conceptual elements of systems theory – rules of rules; second-order cybernetics and the likes – I found myself sitting up with renewed interest. Perhaps, this is where my true interest lies.

Jai’s words have been replaying in my head… and maybe he’s right. Maybe I’d feel stifled if I remain in the FSC setting. It seems silly that I would want to choose not to go directly into policy work just because I want to be a model student to Dr Nair. Yes, I respect her a lot as a lecturer and highly capable social worker… but what am I thinking! Is this a manifestation of an unwillingness to offend and a desire for approval?

Concepts and clarity

After completing the reading on these concepts of systems theory, I felt like everything seemed to take a much more defined shape. Before this, systems theory was just a fuzzy idea – we intuitively know what it purports and what is required of caseworkers who utilise it, but it was never more than that. I like that clarity was waiting for me the end of the chapter.

Well then… it now makes more sense why systems theory has been criticised for being so generic that it hardly provides practitioners with concrete steps to take in their intervention with clients. To provide practitioners with concrete steps would be to defy its underlying framework and principle – that of constructed reality and subjective truth as defined by the system itself. “Attempting to provide a family therapy cookbook is to commit an epistemological error based on a linear epistemology.”


Policy work sounds so lovely right now. It’s everything I’ve dreamed of put together – science; economics; social work. Truly… I think I may just have discovered where my heart lies. I just hope I’m not over-romanticising it.

@9.25pm
Wednesday, August 17, 2011

More and more I really have to say that I can see exactly where Fr Alex was coming from when he said that only in loving thyself would one be able to love others as well; in expecting too much of thyself, one would naturally impose those expectations on others. Observing my own reactions to some of the decisions and actions of friends around me has led me to realise that I come down especially hard on those who in some way remind me of my more childish self, or exhibit flaws which I personally am unable to embrace in myself just yet..

Glad I said yes to playing for Assumption Mass on Monday though :) really a lesson learnt in refraining from jumping and judging.

***

On a happy note, I finally managed to get a supervisor for thesisssss :))) really a pity Dr Irene Ng couldn't take any more students, but I'm so glad Dr Alex Lee agreed :) so nice and grandfatherlyy (happily jumps around!!)

@10.40am