Sunday, June 27, 2010

I feel myself gradually getting better from Friday's breakdown, mostly thanks to Joyce's concern and prayers, and the chat with Daryl at night. At least I confronted my true emotions and aired them. Still, even with all the support and immense love, I know that I'm not fully recovered, nor am I in good shape spiritually at all.. The prospect of leaving work has left me reeling from the rediscovery of the cruel, transient nature of life, and loathe to say my goodbyes. I know I can do without work, and these people, but I hate the idea of non-constancy.

As I prepare to terminate with my clients and colleagues, I see myself beginning to view things in a more.. rational sense. The emotions are clearing up for less idealistic notions. In all aspects. Relationships, and my work.. The placement seminar readings and process recording I had to do of my session has put me right back in my place. I'm not doing as fantastically as I'd like to think. Or I'm being really harsh on myself.

Either way, it seems like everything's getting on my nerves.. My impatience and irritability, surfacing jealousy, and uncontrollable eating are tell-tale signs. Self-destruction mode is on. I.. need to align myself back with Divine will.

Let me put it like this: if you are guided by the Spirit you will be in no danger of yielding to self-indulgence, since self-indulgence is the opposite of the Spirit, the Spirit is totally against such a thing, and it is precisely because the two are so opposed that you do not always carry out your good intentions. If you are led by the Spirit, no law can touch you.

@11.37pm