Saturday, March 13, 2010

Why so harsh? Why so square?
...
Doing the narrative essay inevitably led to me reflecting about my stance on many things.. Faith-related and non- alike. You were right. There is a risk of me falling too deeply into conservatism.. But that's not really because I've been reading up more and actively finding out about traditional Catholic thought. As I trace my steps back just a few months and a couple of years, I find instances in which I have valid cause to agree with the traditional or less liberal viewpoint, but I also catch my past self getting involved in acts of obstinacy, sometimes for its own sake, and for the preservation of her conservatism. Occasionally, you tried to point that out to me. But I always reacted defensively.. Just thinking of how gently and lovingly you prod me to make sure I don't get out of hand is filling me with so much love and gratefulness.. Thank you :)

@10.13pm
Tuesday, March 09, 2010

I've been wondering how heaven's like these past few days, on learning that Mr Tai passed away a few years ago. Can he hear what I say? Does he give the same expressions he used to? Can he or any of the other people in heaven approve or disapprove of anything I do? Do they float around or walk around like they used to? Is he waiting for his wife and children? How do we look like in heaven? No more tears, right?

I don't know why I've been so tired these few days.. I knocked out at 9plus last night. I was just too exhausted to do anything else. And I'm feeling the same exhaustion again.. I guess the assignments are finally piling up, after a honeymoon period of 8 weeks. Buck up please, Jess! Zzzz..

@10.15pm