Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Evil toy bear.

@11.25pm


Hauntingly beautiful.. Listen to it here.

Jesus Christ, inner light,
let not our own darkness conquer us.
Jesus Christ, inner light,
enable us to welcome your love.

Jesus Christ, source of light,
in you we discover a radiance.
To whom shall we go,
to whom shall we go to see the face of God?

Risen Christ, you go down to the depths,
to the depths of our human condition.
You burden yourself with what burdens us.
You take on our darkness.

Jesus Christ, in our search for you,
bring us into the warmth of your light.
Jesus Christ, embrace us in your love.

Jesus Christ, help us to face our darkness.
Help us to find its hidden treasure.

@9.28pm
Sunday, February 28, 2010


My sister is the awesomest.
@12.20am


Provence provence provence..!! In just one night, I actually had two dreams in which I was in a bakery, prancing around smelling all the different breads, and watching as wassants evolved into crossaints, and getting all excited.. To some extent the dreams came true, cos today's breakfast experience was quite similar to that :D Hahaa I'm so happyyy! Loved the time spent with Mer and my parents.. They enjoyed curry-pan and the brazilian cheese bun (with soybean and fine sugar), and the sandwiches.. Milk-pan, wassants, and brazilian cheese bun for me, wheeee :D Can't wait to go back again. In the end we spent $30+. Terribly expensive breakfast.. Mum's so sweet, said she was so happy to see me so happy :))))

After that we headed to St Mary's for mass.. It was fantastic, too! Today's homily was given by Father John Paul Tan, and it served as encouragement and affirmation for me.. Two of today's readings were about two different followers of God, who reacted differently to the call to follow the Lord.. Abraham, an old man, was willing to give up a life of stability and security in the then-heart of civilisation.. The place where law and writing originated. He trusted in God as he went forth to a "third-world" country, and never saw the fruits of his faith.. Yet he believed wholeheartedly. In the Gospel reading, we see Peter reacting in the opposite way - fearful, for he did not want to go through suffering, and see Jesus suffer.. He proposed to stay on top of the mountain, where everything was good.. But without the crucifixation, without suffering, there wouldn't be the ressurection.

All of us are guilty of the same fault to some extent, being unwilling to step out of our comfort zones for fear of the uncertainty and insecurity which comes.. We choose to freeze our faith, and exist in that stagnant state. But faith like that is dead, for we have not allowed God to journey with us as we age.. Our concept of Him is still the same as that one month ago, three years ago, or worse, since Catechism classes ended.. That cannot be. For faith is alive, as we are. Faith is alive, just as love is.. Abraham showed that his faith accompanied him, all through his life.. Even old age threw surprises at him, but he continued believing. A wonderful homily which propelled a desire to reach out to my dearest family members, especially during this season of Lent.

After mass, I decided to stay to help Uncle Peter for a while.. He was really sick, and looked terribly tired! Poor thing. Everyone is falling sick around me, seriously. Haha had a good time catching up with him, and when he went to take a lunch break, I sat down and read "The Way of the Heart" by Henri Nouwen.. It was a good read, and I noted several awesome messages from the book:

Solitude is the furnace of transformation.. Not simply silence. It is not even simply being alone with God. We find it so difficult to achieve, for it brings about a struggle against the compulsion of the world, a compulsion which is driven by anger and greed. A cold anger builds up within us when things do not go our way, for anger is nothing but the impulsive reaction to being denied of having things go our way. When we do not get what we want, we become greedy; we hunger for it. We find ourselves seeking the identity afforded to us by the world when we are relevant, spectacular, and powerful.. The very same temptations which the devil tried to use on Jesus after He spent 40 days and nights in the desert (Matt 4:3-11). But Jesus remained steadfast, and affirmed that His own identity came only from His being the Son of God.. So, too, must we stand steadfast against these distractions, allow ourselves to be vulnerable and naked.. Our souls, which are conditioned to the pursuit of reassurance from other people, struggles.. We are tempted by images of power, or succumb to self-pity, and picture ourselves being comforted by others..

Out of the reformation which solitude brings about comes true compassion.. One in which judging and the evaluating of others is no longer possible.. One cannot dwell on the sin of others, when all that is seen is the suffering of a brother or sister. And out of the solitude, our lives becomes a ministry in itself, one in which being is not much different from doing. For everything we do speaks of the glory of God.

Ahh. That took longer than I'd expected. I'm glad I'm home now.

@3.32pm