Sunday, January 31, 2010

Reading some writings by Peter Kreeft on his website. What a generous man. It looks like I'm going to spend on books again.

God wants his chorus to sing in harmony, but not in unison.

Absolutely beautiful!

@8.24pm


After a few months of procastination, I finally made my way to the confessional. I had begun to become increasingly aware of how sin was breaking me down, and how it severely affected my day-to-day ability to love patiently. Just the day before, I grew frustrated and to some extent self-destructive; I almost allowed myself to be lost in the sinfulness and the self-pity. It was a terrible feeling, going to bed feeling that way. But then I remembered reading an excerpt from 'The Screwtape Letters' that Pam had shared on facebook, and I decided to drag my feet to Novena in the end.

Gosh, I thought the priests were never going to enter the confessionals! Throughout the service they remained empty, and in my restlessness I couldn't help but cast a constant gaze on the four doors. At the end of it, the light above one of the doors finally lighted up, and I made a beeline for it. I was going home at last..

And it was beyond anything I could have imagined or hoped for. I elaborated on the list of sins which I had written on my palm, and waited for the priest to reply. It turned out to be Father Simon Pereira, and he really blew me away with the loving reply.. He told me not to be discouraged by my weaknesses, and that I had a lot to give.. To keep it up. That was in spite of the immense sinfulness that had almost overwhelmed me just the day before. I couldn't believe my ears; h(H)e had seen the potential in me when I couldn't, and h(H)e loved me perfectly when I couldn't do it myself! I went out and just broke down in front of the cross. Words don't do justice to everything that happened. How can I be unfaithful to someone so faithful? I can't allow myself to.

For the past 24 hours or so I've been so conscious of every little thing I do, making sure that I don't let my inherently sinful nature pull me away again. It's awesome to be blessed with such grace. I enjoyed the readings from today's mass :)

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Yes, indeed, He does. :)

@2.59pm