Saturday, January 09, 2010

I had an awesome dayyy.. It started out beautiful and ended off beautiful. I woke up after a great chat last night, and got a morning call from him a while after that. We spent another 45 minutes together and he hung up and went back to sleep, while I cabbed down to AMK Hub to meet the comm for our MM meeting. On the way there, the taxi driver shared with me about his thoughts about the government, and complained about his worries to me. I was quite surprised at how he trusted me enough to reveal some personal details about his life, though he knew nothing about me. So I made use of some skills that I learnt in class to try to help him feel a bit better. There's lots of work to be done! Social work here I come!

The meeting went okay, though I'm still filled with dread just thinking about the upcoming semester and the amount of work to be done. "..not reluctantly or under compulsion.." (2 Cor 9) Awesome passage. This struck me during the breaking of the word, but I did not want to voice it out. And I love that you spoke out saying that God loves a cheerful giver, though you may not have known the impact that it had on me.

Mass was nothing short of beautiful as well, with Father JJ celebrating again. The choir sang well, and JemP played awesome music, making the celebration grand, just the way it should be. I watched Father JJ move around slowly but with such peace and love, and tears welled up in my eyes again, as they always do when I witness great love. With his weak, shaky arms he held up the Bible for us as we stood up to welcome Jesus into our presence, with the Alleluia playing majestically in the background. I was filled with love for him, too, and it made me consider the nature of love again.

I think we can't help but love others when they fulfil our innermost desire to know Love itself through the joy and love, however limited and human, which they give to us. Sadly, not many of us are even aware of this desire. I realised how blessed beyond measure I am, to be graced with these very gifts. Love and joy. Looking across the altar to the other end of the church I spotted 10 familiar faces, and upon consideration of how likely my relatives did not have the same privilege of a personal relationship with Love and the desire to know Love, I decided that my supposedly bleak spiritual situation is not really that bleak afterall.

The highlight of the day was probably the few minutes in which I mustered up the courage, with my heart pounding and all, to tell Father JJ how happy I am everytime I see him. I thanked him for his love, and for his dedicated service in spite of him getting on in years.. I couldn't help it; my eyes just filled up with tears again as I expressed my love for him. And with a beautiful smile he thanked me back, told me "God bless you" and asked me to pray for him, for he is growing old. I always wondered how I'd know whether Jesus was really Jesus if I ever get to meet Him face to face. I think I know the answer now, and I hope that my heart will be open enough to recognise Love if the time really comes.

After mass, I went back up to join ZJ and we went for dinner together. I reached out to one of the quieter members and was rather happy and surprised at how open he was to talking to me after I introduced myself to him. :) I'm happy that I chose social work.

And the beautiful end came in the form of your company. So glad I joined you guys today :)

@12.57am
Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Ahh just had a cozy dinner with grandma and mum. Quiet-happy. Took a nice walk home in the rain from cold storage at rail mall with beef, mushroom and walnuts :) On my way home I remembered the odd exciting dream I had last night.. I was some fugitive, I think. Hiding from the big-shots who owned some organisation.. It was really scary and I was running away from some of the evil family members who were in the building. All of us owned guns and that made it all the more terrifying.. I rolled around in bushes, ran away from bicycles, and hid in female toilets to stay alive. It was a terrible feeling, being all alone in some big place with no clue as to how I could escape. The sheer helplessness.. And then a group of good people congregated outside the toilet and I tried to speak with them. But after I went out of the cubicle I remembered that I'd left my precious wallet inside, so I went back to get it.. And though I rushed out as fast as I could, they were all gone by then. I ran and ran and tried to find them, but to no avail. Frightening. Can't remember how I woke myself up from that dream.

@7.15pm
Sunday, January 03, 2010

Feeling touched and happy by the call I got this morning, and by the loving messages left by a dear friend on the tagboard and on her blog. Spent some time playing the piano and giving thanks earlier this afternoon. I'm really really glad. :)

After weeks of indulgence I decided to pay a visit to old friend Mr. Treadmill again.. And oh my goodness my stamina is terrible!! I was panting like mad after my first sprint (usually takes about three for me to really feel it) and I stopped earlier than usual :( On the bright side, my sugar level was 6.1 during lunch. Yes that is a really good level :) Hope to get a little fitter before the next badminton session :D Can't wait!

Dinner with Serene and the Arts girls (and some guys) awaits! Wheeee :D

@4.24pm