Thursday, July 23, 2009

got down to starting on meditation today. ^^

John 20:1-2, 11-18.
"Woman, why are you weeping?"
oddly enough, that was phrase from the passage which hit me. i felt warm and fuzzy. and i was brought back to last semester and even further back.. to all the times when i cried, sometimes without knowing the reason, sometimes feeling lonely and abandoned by God.

like Mary Magdalene, i know that i've failed to recognise His presence at times. in retrospect, i know it was silly to think that i was alone in all that. and then the song came to mind.

Holy darkness, blessed night
Heaven's answer, hidden from our sight
As we await You, Oh God of silence
We embrace Your Holy night.

we've always been told to recognise Jesus in the little things. but at that moment i wondered whether He meant for it to be that way.. for us to experience a little darkness, so we can learn to take the leap of faith. to trust wholeheartedly, to experience what it's like to be in surrender.

it was an unexpectedly good first session!

...countdown to wkend: 2 days
Sunday, July 19, 2009

today, i felt that general sense of anticipation again. that i still can't place. it's really random haha i have no clue what it's all about. but somehow, despite the imperfection of recent days, it gives me a rather good feeling.

collected the tickets to the bible seminar at st mary's (happy!!) and finally got to say hi to uncle peter again! gosh, i really do love talking to him. spent about an hour there and we spoke of many things.. about school, sports, fishing, books. he asked me to help him sell his books on weekends when he wants to take a break, too. COOL. :D he taught me a method to meditate, and i'm quite excited about trying it out. bought another two books. :D

i managed to eat quite well today. really glad.

restless spirit. i think i'll go to bed. goodnight!

...countdown to wkend: 0 days


throughout this span of time, it was revealed to me, many times, that music moved me deeply, that i felt God's presence through music. i was inspired; excited when i talked about it to daryl and des. on the 'head' side, i know MM needs me more, and i had finally found the desire to step up not because i am needed, not because of who i am going to work with.. but because i believe it is my calling for this academic year. i know my people skills would most definitely not go to waste even if i choose MM over CG.

it's funny how i made this decision more or less at that moment on that unassuming bus ride. without the heavy thought and contemplation that i believed i'd needed to make the decision with. in fact, i think that's also how i chose social work over economics. and i've been affirmed throughout the past semester with regards to my choice. i really hope that MM is the right place for me to be next term, too.

...countdown to wkend: 0 days