Saturday, February 21, 2009

hmm. it's been 3 years already. just chatted with o.w.s and realised once again how time flies. things have definitely changed.. i've indisputably transformed from the person i was since then, and since secondary school. it was quite a nice chat i suppose, though i really felt like i was being a social worker counselling a client. i'm glad i'm now able to be more direct with my words and reduce chances of creating false hope. it ended off on a weird note, but i know that i'm totally in control of myself now.

maybe you're right, von and mich.. friendships change. no matter how we may hope for it to be otherwise. if we steer off on different courses, and lead totally different lives, it just can't be the same anymore. inevitably. we won't have as many things in common to talk about, and our own philosophy of life may have been altered till it is not congruent with the others'.

i'm listening to the instrumental music that i put on repeat during the first month of NUS life, and it's like travelling back in time to rediscover the emotions that i had felt then. fresh, taking tentative steps to discover a whole new world! and right now, i feel like i'm starting all over again. a different person. i wonder if i will like this new, less attached person that i've grown to become.

...countdown to wkend: 0 days
Wednesday, February 18, 2009

i'm finding myself growing closer to You, and depending on You more, and realising that i recognise Your presence so much more when i am down. it's a queer feeling, this, but i like it. cheryl! you probably won't ever get to read this, but working with you on the session has been nothing short of awesome. and i really mean it when i tell you that you're an incredible role model. the vibe you give off to me.. the absolute trust in God and being able to let Him handle everything even though you worry. yeah.. worrying is normal haha. thank you my dear. i'm just so touched by everything you say.. ^^

during CG yesterday, we were guided by APY on a little reflection.. a journey back to last semester. we questioned our intentions, our hopes and fears. i was surprised to discover that i had wanted to major in econs so that i could be a successful person who earned lots of money. altruism was secondary; an excuse which i used to sugar-coat my intentions. you took me and spun me around in the opposite direction. now, helping others is imperative, and money is but an effect. somehow, my purpose in studying hard was purified.

...countdown to wkend: 4 days