Friday, August 29, 2008

hahaha! just had a fun fun dinner sitting with junchyi and jelly chan. HAHAHAA. we shared alottt of food and desserts woots had a great time planning all our future outings also - ikea meatball + hotdog outing, arts food sharing session, eden cafe dinner, newton food centre, dimsum buffet, giant waffle at plaza singapura, island creamery ice cream outing etc etc etc woohoo so exciting! my newfound good friends. hahahaha! i love CSS!

had mass before that.. happy! commissioning of the FCGs and ministry committees. really really excited about MusicMinistry. meeting zero tmr!! yay!! and if u're a CSS member, COME JOIN MM!

hehehe. hmm. when i want something, i rationalise it such that it seems to explain and make my decision valid. which is warped actually.. the cause and effect is just all wrong. that's why need all you people around me to nag at me! and You to keep me grounded.

...countdown to wkend: 1 day
Thursday, August 28, 2008

hahaha say hi to yummy bittersweet chinese tea! love!

today we learnt more abt relativity. was one of the more interesting and applicable of all the physics lectures so far! ahaha. here's some.
if you sit down and stone at home, u'll age faster than someone who's bouncing around outside at v>0. that explains why people like miahcat look so young and why everyone says my dear little sis mer looks more mature than me. alright man. this is because of time dilation! time passes slower when ur velocity is higher.
another one. if you sit on the floor (aka closer to the ground), time passes slower also. this is because gravity causes time to slow down. so, next time, sit on the floor.

also, i'm getting used to thinking in terms of marginal benefit and cost rather than keeping sunk cost in mind. that way, there'll be less regret in life. woots!

MM work to do!
10.36. so early. waiting for my CSS owls to come online to accompany me while i do my physics homework ;D

...countdown to wkend: 2 days


i miss jc life! just had first econs tutorial. mr syn! :(

...countdown to wkend: 3 days
Wednesday, August 27, 2008

hehe i think i'm nuts. bam the feeling hits me then bam i'm not sad anymore then bam bam bam all these sudden and extreme changes in emotions hit me. yay! the bam now is good, cos i'm happy and free! time passes slowly when u're in pain.

haha just had first CG of uni life! happy. it was pretty good. and i expect tt it'll just get better. was fun trying to recruit ppl to join MM also. as charmaine puts it i have a fanatic expression on my face which speaks a thousand words aka "i'm gonna eat ur children if u don't join!" HAHAHA!!!

second social work lecture in which i felt that maybe.. just maybe i should go for it. true i don't have to decide now.. though daddy doesn't approve as usual. he never approved of anyth, except econs. and yet, when i think back... he was right. right right right each and everytime. it was just stubbornness on my part. but is this rebellion again? i don't really know myself. one thing's for sure though. it's gonna be a toughie to convince him if i really were to head in tt direction. sigh.

...countdown to wkend: 3 days
Tuesday, August 26, 2008

what a liar i am! lying to myself like that. but maybe after awhile the lies will become truth. hiding will become a norm, self-imposed restrictions will become habit and all will be well!

...countdown to wkend: 4 days


losing all motivation to exercise and keep healthy. help me!
sigh. comfort eating. how horrible. just had a blob of nutella and now i feel sick.
had 16 hours of sleep on sunday and 4 on monday. and then woke up at 12.30 today. i think i'm going to die if this keeps up.

shucks. i need to reach out and find motivation to study hard in FASS. my dreams seem so far away all of a sudden..
SHALL RUN TODAY! must must.

no accidental consumption of poisonous fire extinguisher constituents and touching of random dark blue "22" signs and trying to win a chance to speak to michael phelps in real life!

...countdown to wkend: 4 days


my blog is becoming a dream journal.

there was an old couple.. the lady was lovely when she was young. the man loved her but it wasn't mutual initially. somehow he managed to succeed in winning her heart and they ended up as a married couple.
however when they were reaching their twilight years the girl wanted to have fun again (odd).. so she decided to cheat on him. sat under a tree with another man and wore a slinky black dress for him. the old man knew, was sad but loved her all the same.
zoom.. she was drowning and the weather was terrible.. stormy and thunderous. she thought she was going to die but a pair of arms reached out and carried her to safety. relieved, she opened her eyes and expected her rescuer to be her lover, but it turned out to be her husband..
this touched her tremendously and her heart returned fully to him.
oh one weird thing. the old man looked like pope john paul the second..

...countdown to wkend: 4 days
Sunday, August 24, 2008

more weird dreams!

ytd i was with a friend who had a penknife and cut his elbow bone. in so deep and i could see the blood.. fake as it looked i was freaked out.. couldn't watch and rushed away. and somehow my dear sis was dead and i was utterly crushed and thought i couldn't live on. but i consoled myself with the fact that she'd probably be alive when i woke up.. zoom and i was suddenly attacked by girls who had penknives. i don't know what's with the penknives!! one came at me and i took a penknife and fought back, but somehow the metal which was used to make hers owned mine. haha. so my penknife blade broke off bit by bit until i lost. i ran around trying to escape and zoom fast forward i tried to stab her back. but she wasn't hurt let alone die omg. scary.

it'd be cool if i could figure out what all these dreams meant. but one thing that really is cool is that i actually remember all these. ever since i've been reading the power of coincidence i've been more aware of strange things like these. trying to look for synchronicity. though sometimes it is tough to differentiate what i want from what really is. self-delusion is like.. relativity. if you were next to another train and suddenly one moves, you wouldn't know if it was your train or the other which was moving. unless you look at the platform.. a third external object which places you in perspective.

pg110, The Power of Coincidence

Givens in life and the responses we may have to them.

Given: I am alone in facing the great life events, including death. I may have support but no rescuer
Childish reaction: I fill the aloneness with externals so as not to feel it fully, or I expect a rescuer
Adult response: I stay with myself and focus on what is and open myself to support if it comes my way

Given: All is transitory and changing. Nothing satisfies permanently
Childish reaction: I fixate, holding on, becoming addicted, clinging, controlling. I keep trying to hold back the hands of time
Adult response: I stay with the normal stages: rise, crest, decline, realign, let go

Given: Life is unpredictable
Childish reaction: I seek safe harbours and certitudes, trying to build dikes or dams
Adult response: I allow it all to unfold just as it is

Given: Suffering is part of life: both physical and emotional life is not always fair
Childish reaction: I am entitled to immunity. I am exempt from the law of averages. I deserve special treatment
Adult response: I accept what cannot be changed; I attend to what can be changed

Given: Sometimes we will be faced with more than we can handle
Childish reaction: I am comforted by the belief that punishment of evil and reward of good will happen now or later; I will never have to face more than I can handle
Adult response: I accept that things are not always fair while working for justice; I accept that some things are too big for me to handle

pg 112, The Power of Coincidence

The conditions of our existence are assisting forces on the path to our destiny. Each is a synchronicity since each is connected to a discovery: without aloneness, I never would have found the vast inner world of wisdom and healing power within me. If what I see and desire were not transitory, I never would have looked beyond or through the persons and things in my life to contact the transcendence. If all were predictable, my eyes would never be opened by surprises, by the unexpected, by serendipity... Without suffering, I would never have found my inner resources, never have felt the grief that gives me depth and character, never have opened my heart to compassion. If things were always fair, I would have no motivation to recognise and handle the shadow in myself and others in creative ways. This is how the givens of life can be ingredients to wholeness and gifts of grace.

...countdown to wkend: 0 days